Just Woke Up

9 hours of sleep.  Went straight for the granola cereal with milk + raisins were in it ... and then went to the bathroom and changed and got the toilet paper.  My hair is a mess, using Frizz Ease, again.

My dad was playing guitar.  I said Morning, with my ear plugs still on from the bath where I managed to cry.  I forget what the main feature was, but I don't think it was @ Ginny..

Now, I'm getting negative messages of things that you don't talk about.  I just figured something else.

Also, I was like phew I managed to be more civil, yesterday.  I'll probably live crying myself to sleep .. NIGGER lol  I don't get jealous so much as I get analyzational.  I analyze the holistic part of the situation.  You know what I thought of?  There are girls who are part of Ellen DeGeneres's show, and .. what forget .. and I thought of Nell Burton getting excited just to be #1, has no like stance as to why she gets attention and steals it from anyone, shouldn't be an adult at age 5 or 6..  Who cares?  I thought she was nice.  It's mostly you guys who favor her.  Makes me want to go violent..  I don't like being considered a nigger, at all, not even just the "dubbed" nigger.  Nell Burton is nothing.  You have other people in the world.

I also know if Ellen DeGeneres were to look at my table, she'd start feeling horny, if ya know what I mean.

I got so much cleaning done, seems like my room will soon be clean.  Can't believe I have these extra books.

I realize I went manic over Ginny getting me in the hospital.  I didn't do shit.  I told those niggers what I did, I didn't do nothin.  The teacher NEVER TOLD ME DO YA HEAR YOU PIECES OF GODDAMN SHIT

Una Problema

I just got really attacked like I needed to extract some feeling.  I know what I'm doing.  You can't just surprise me like that.  Stop pushing me to my dad.  I am the 1 online.  I already even had to tell him or invite him so much, in the end.

No one cares about how my mom is mean to me.  Just when something big is.  Whoah, why did I even have to think of that?

Ugh!  I wanna get dressed and eat with my family so I have more time to clean my room, eventually.

You know, you are really gay people to tell me that someone cool is not mature enough to be my parent.  What about all those guys who like me for not having an old mom?  I don't know many cool people, anyway, and 1s who are young act like adults compared to me.  It makes me upset, though, see my mom of course is older than the kids of those parents.  Ugh, ... I just know someone means something and is gonna say my future doesn't matter and then say I'm gay just for thinking I deserve to say something because not many people have to worry @ that other than their own flaws.

So, I know people are gonna bug me, and I have a right to not be confined for the rest of my life and to pick up on shitty people to joke @ with so I don't trust my parents nor others.  About being accomplished, I already am.  Some reason, my neck hurts, too.

Ellen DeGeneres wants to make fun of some young person to say I'm a lot older but hate you like I'm in the adult generation, like some teachers seem to be old enough to parent you to do things..  What if I h*** myself somehow, today, not that I would, but if someone did something on purpose that I knew about or something then that means that no one cares about me.  I'll just *** and never go to H***** because of what I've seen.  It'll be a dagger in my side.  WHAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!  What the fuck is this?  You pretty much make bad people feel okay.  I grew up doing what I was supposed to and everyone hated me for it, like I hadn't been feeling cute enough.

I grew up being told all these things kids today have, and I will not accept it.  No, I don't look up to people because they all have to tell me stuff I'm not.