Friday, May 24, 2013

Ir. I. Ir.

Before, when I got skinny, in Slidell, I would look more alive.  More sleep was what I needed..  My body was purified.  I had a smoothie every day, like Ellen DeGeneres does every morning, so good!  =}

AHM DADE xp

The Trick

WTF do you mean tricking me into calling her a nigger just to make her not fear the word and then I go to the mental hospital 3 times and lose my own female thing, unsure if it is true, 2 brain scans.  No relations, my life meaningless in the whole world.  }8

I'm serious, there is nothing left in my life but that I learned to be more reserved, even still.

It's hard to put into words just how different life is and how much hatred I must spew.  I came home all happy from college, such a thick female thing, such a good thing, didn't feel much pain though, just at home resting.  I was thinking of not going to college to post online @ "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."  I didn't see ads for "Pirates of the Caribbean" so was out of the loop, 2003, graduated 2004.

I lost my health forever by being placed in a sorta experimental life with people making noises and doing things on my computer, like how things load, I was on a strict, hard diet and had to consume a lot of health food..  They used to have special "health food" so advertised, little meals for people thinking they'll lose weight just changing to do that.  Doing 1 thing can make you fat but not like say singing hopefully, dunno, like Ellen DeGeneres.

I feel like someone crept behind like to *i** me.

Now, I cannot get back my health.  The experiment put me off-guard, my strict diet.  I suffered so much not wanting to do lectures nor reading.  I was always the shy, sweet 1 when I was a young kid, like 9, 10, 11.  Then, I got a bit ugly.

There's more, I'm sure.  xp

Now, I eat whatever I want but not like badly too too much.  I'm staying off chicken and rice some..the healthiest thing we ate.  Dunno, for sure..  People need to take me as I come, all grown up.  I feel like I need more food.  Like, you have an infant, they eat and they move.  I want to know more about this.  I wanted to live on baby food at 19.

What else?  8>--O

Una Problema

LOOK, NIGGA *smokes*

I just did something and the thought left.

Ah, yes, I was always reserved but commentary @ Nell Burton, saying nice, slightly interesting things.  I like other people saying shit.  I can talk @ shit, too.  I mean, no one likes that brat.  THAT BRAT.  Helena presenting her to the world.  See, people in Europe aren't perfect.  I'm not who she thinks or seems to think.

I did say that because it was people trying to make me feel better.  Tim Burton doesn't seem to give us as much attention is why I seem to hate Nell.  Chloe Grace Moretz was a bit snotty but overall nice to me.  It looks like she thinks she sneered @ Johnny Depp for me.

It's hard to trust anyone, all gaping over Nell, all gaping over Nell, well GAPE OVA HER.

Una Problema

Wasn't I supposed to have the boy, not Nell gets the right father?  WHAT ABOUT ME YOU TRICKING NIGGERS!!!!

And stop asking me if I need someone.. bc I'll just say no.

Hm, though, you'll notice I talk.  Just checkin-

Um

WTF you talkin to, anyway?

Why I Said I Just Said All That

Because I was just at the mall- and you see

Took a jog before Ellen today.

Aw

Guess it's not really all about -you-.  What are you for, anyway?  Do you TALK!  Do you appreciate shit in the world?  Wanna know people!  Huh?  Huh?

You know.

You know, I'm 1 of those people who always wants to feel in tune with what's in behaviorwise.  I am always on my toes and get tired.  What was the point in this, anyway!  So, the world has it's smorgasbord in m*********** and gets mad at me.  I thought everyone would like me.

GET OUTTA MY LIFE DORKS.  I'm not going on trial for something worthless.  Let's read inta your bulll.

Oh, and just how much bulll do I take?

Wow.

Wow, Ellen, hope you feel all spiffy.

I just read something.

"Nell Burton is a mistake."  But we need her.

wut

I am NOT shit moved to New Orleans.  I didn't do sports.
That's not fair.  Child celeb Nell Burton cannot have Ellen DeGeneres!

Update

Rule #2

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

If you're improving every generation even as they already existed against me.

Good Fortune..

Tim Burton won't happily accept his existence and respect my dad, simply, no question . 3|

Una Problema

Oh, wow, so just Late Boom has these ***in, m********in feelings of "not taking care of kids."  Oh, wow, I'm not a bad person, neither, why should I give a fuck over this travesty?  Stop making me feel m*******.

My mom is simply being shitty and I feel mad.  I'll feel sorry I speculated on this.  My mom is shit.  Stop changing.  I'm the 1 on top.  I just say shit, I don't mean she's pooh!

Do you want me to **r* my dad?

Wow, Orlando.

Wow, you idiots of Orlando, you sure can't hold in your shittin' leaks of idiocy.

'An I can't take'm neither.  :|

I forgot

My brother didn't do gymnastics.  He was hyper like me and thought I was white because I was a girl.

The Princess at Heart

Everyone secretly wants to be the princess at heart.

So, who is

So, who is like this Nell Burton creature?  What do you think of people?  They're all good.  Don't get jealous of me and *i** me.  I should just leave you alone, if that's all you want, really.

Hey, guys, so how's everyone?

Ellen DeGeneres, like Tim Burton, admits in a sorta pleasurable way, like maybe geared toward getting feeling from a little older of a generation that they just have fun and are "bad."  However, they "participate" in being totally dorky to good kids like me who have no answer in finding anyone in the world for them to look up to as an attractive and maybe strong adult, just not possible?

See the NIGGERS on the street admit that Tim Burton messed up and life is not good because of his daughter being such a spoiled attention-dividing brat.  It seems people don't want anyone to touch their world-famed in some capacity family members.

No Happy

Ginny was wrong to me. I took great care to come in all proper, take a shower and sorta dress it up.

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Making the Cut

People early on here thought they needed to make the cut. Mad at immigrant as well as the children of Floridians.

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Oh no's

I was flustered talking to my dad.

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Y

Why is Lily Rose being so mad, overall??

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Somewhere Out There

Kids today.

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His Real Kids

I thought of 2 internet babies, boy with squinting eyes and girl like a tube with pinkish hairs, Tim Burton's real kids.

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Look Out

People in Orlando aren't as sweet as they used to be to me.

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Outta Curiosity

Just outta curiosity, guys, do you thin a 1 Miss Nell Burton is comfortable? Ya.

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Una Problema

Why didn't Ginny tell me @ what I did instead of getting me expelled maybe for awhile? How can they change their mind? They are shit

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Culture?

Why is Nell so revolutionary. She is lazy culturally. Most people would vote yay, not nay.



Helena made her a toy for others than myself to jerk off to, sorry to relay.



Why's this shit happening? I thought I blew -out- the fire. Helena thinks I'm bad and worthless. So what? It's other people who ruin it for me using them as an example.

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wut

Why should I listen to negativity? If the N word thing didn't happen, what am I supposed to see my life as? UNlucky?



But..for 1 hour a day I see the supposed culprit I cannot prove, nor can I literally disprove it.

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Tweet

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Don'

Look, I don't give a fuck (@ "Nell")



Have fuck

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wut

People are proud to oust me. I didn't do nothin' to poor ole Nell.

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iWant

I want diamonds filled wit watuh

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Mo're

Koreans are more Chinese than me.

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Needy Needy

*So, you need clothes for the fat people*



I financially am sewing my own dresses.

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Funny

A book that said "Doctor's Don't Tell."

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Racially

I'm not racist. So? What's wrong?

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Fussy

Such a fuss over Nell.

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Question

Watcha think that people like someone like Nell Burton so much better?



She likes her "race."



No one respected me. I don't care. So.. What.

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What can I do I'd my race is ugly and I'm bi? Not sure if A.Jewish: Kifer (Polish) + Shultz (Swiss.). Mine is German?

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Well

Why are you @ the N word thing? I feel that way, sometimes. I guess I have to keep pushing every time to get what -I- want. What @ -my- life, people?

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Una Problema

I don't have to wait for people to listen to take care of myself. They are wrong.

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Y

If Nell Burton stands for anti-childhood, why support her? She is like the princess of the world.. I get the idea she is considered "right," all of a sudden.

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Um

Why are people mad @ me following Ellen DeGeneres?



Also, watcha thing @ Nell Burton..Ellen's hands are like her mom's who is nearly 1/2 Jewish.



I got a hint she's in "Fast and Furious" for Nell. Why does she need to in public feel that? I don't like just anyone that I'd .. Well, you use her for bad things but not saying so. Why is Nell so controversial? Ever since the N word thing, things haven't been fair. I just wanna talk @ it, younger people being favored and wasting my life. It's not @ Ellen but Nell. They keep boring in with people. I guess if something bad happens you're happy. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I was the fan.



My dad just swirved up and made it sound like he'd beat me. Stop making me mad. He looked at my poor face. I was the 1 who was nice but had fun with others online. So, why waste the point in life? She's the brat, not me. I am nice. You all just bring shit into my world. She is just a nice girl, why not forget @ her? You "want" Tim Burton's daughter? I'm not a nigger. Yes, I just said what I wanted, could say something else. Why is Nell and her mom in a way so good all of a sudden? What about my feelings. Guess that's not your type. I mean the type that is considered to have the trait of feeling.. I am not bothered, but this seems rather popular. I just don't find it pleasurable, the way people must have reacted. I don't want Nell and her mom to try to beat me, in such an exclusive way. What's the idea @ this being funny? What use is wasting life on anger like that?



Okay.

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Mobile

WAH!

I'm sorry, my respect to Ellen DeGeneres.  I have a mental problem (isn't helped) and I guess I should not be so uptight..  I really got mad walking, put the bull away that I was mad at anyone in particular.  I do forget what's around me because my parents are so GODDAMN SUGGESTIVE ALL THE TIME

No excuse, but I was mad @ people and that it happened, assumed not necessarily influenced by anyone in particular.

Not sure what to do..I eat different ways..gotta get ready soon..  I just feel bad I come out so nasty.  I went through what I wrote and see it was pretty good compared to what happened .. why is that funny to you?  It's not.  I just went out to walk and sing and was mad and ran across some racists, later, though..  Maybe, clearning my room will help me.

Okay, bye.  Gosh darnet, who reads this muss?

Oh, I didn't think of nothin' myself, I just got upset and sang louder that no one would do this to me, really, not attacking.  My voice is fine!  3I

How I Feel

I feel so hurt.  What should I do?

Um.

If you wanna be like me and talk to Ellen DeGeneres you should, imagine a sweet, innocent girl only like 20 or even as young as 12.  That would not bother me, in the least.  It would be fun.  I mean, I just try to be good online and wish for like to meet her because it would be fun and you can always talk online @ her.  I wonder though how much someone likes her, like it seems like something in the past.

Oh

You think "I'm Chinese."  NO.  What is Chinese?  I'm the kind that looks European now but maybe not the ancestors.

Ugh

Why should I give a care @ your .. perverted little mind

Una Problema

So, I thought I'd just get mad at everyone.  I don't know who did it.  A kid seems guilty, gets sneered @.

Una Problema

Every little noise that sounds insulting makes me jittery.  I have to go out on weekends so I can be around real people.  There's weird noises in the garage.  I don't know if someone must be programming them..

Una Problema

You can be who you want, but I can talk about it.  I am not just talking to any certain people.  This is a blog, important like photos.

Problemas

Look, I want to talk to people and think @ them, but I keep getting mad from the n word thing, and it worries me.  Maybe, they know I'm hurt, too, from Ellen DeGeneres.  It felt like she cut the outside of my arm out.  I am worried it might catch on.  Ellen DeGeneres likes to joke and make you uncomfortable..UNcomfortable...  Why would you sit there and shit @ that I always use 2 periods and that no one should give me attention when I just enjoy it when I get it and don't ask for it nor do I seem to be able to force anyone to give it to me, for they can ask to have it stop.

Evidence

She did hurt me yesterday.  I have to keep worrying @ my arm.  Maybe, she knew I'd be mad about my videos missing if she reported them.  I just posted a picture of us together, too, wonder if she wants to report that someday.  She just keeps being weird.  This implies she pays attention to me and not you, which you never seemed to ask for it but got it from everybody else.  What am I supposed to do?  All day, I feel mad.  Every day.  It's because I like her.  People from Metarie are stuck up, but they'd be nice to me alone.  Just a guess, in a way.

Oh, I know

Oh, I know, I have no wish to be mean to nor dislike Ellen DeGeneres.

Mostly

Mostly, I am mad at most people, in general, though.

Remember

I don't attack anyone, need to plaque it up.  I don't make fun of the innocence of who someone is.  I just fight back if I'm hurt and need help or an explanation.  See?  You think I'm just attached to the N word event.

Also, people look at Ellen DeGeneres with her mug and don't want to interrupt but it happens and she thinks what have I done?  She's said sorry, before.  People want me mad because maybe she likes me.  Oh, then, she's happy and is like oh no I didn't do that.. *sip*  Don't mean to be rude, didn't say nothin'.  You are just hypersensitive and limited in speech.

I'm mad at this shit I swear it's because of the N word thing.

Una Problema

You need to stop getting mad at me for, what, being excited about something..  When I am excited @ what I did I get bullcrap that I'm nothing but shit and am a nigger..

Also

You didn't do anything for me by being older, though I like that fact in things as these..like if you think someone is older then they're older like whatever it is I seem to be thinking..like looking up to older people and also admiring younger ones in comparison to yourself.

Una Problema

Ellen DeGeneres must think I'm nothing, sometimes.  It's an okay passing thought for dumb Americans.  Not that I'd hope for you to be a dumb American.  Hey, look at what shit does to me.  Why are my VIDEOS GONE, YOU NIGGERS!

Oh yes, I don't give a care about baby logic that maybe I'm stealing by posting myself with media on in the background to a fuzzy channel like YouTube that doesn't work like an MP3 player.  You let people get away with approving of this shit and no one really cares.  Why not?  You don't do it.  That's not what other people do.  So, I know you do things, like you'd think, that aren't right.  This is different.  My life is sorta determined by knowing what's allowed and what's not.  That's a real flub, I believe it is allowed, no sign on the door!  Why are there signs on doors?  I cannot go to the bathroom but once a day?  What?  It's IMPORTANT.  I've lived this life of needing this.

Isn't it selfish, though, you think, not talking directly, to like, whatever..  Not that it's wrong, but I wanna talk about it.  Who wouldn't?  You don't like it, but I do.  You won't convince me with some gurgling noise ejecting from some premises of my garage-room.

May I Say

May I say uninterrupted that I care that people are mean to Ellen DeGeneres?

And Another Thing..

Also, you're (people) are not polite to me for my kind of life and don't respect my reserved opinions I used to fight for for fairness in the world and that people can be who they want and not be exactly the same.

Back

If you touch me in punishment, I can tell you I'm not a nigger and you're shit.

Lots of problems, actually people impersonating that they got a message from Ellen DeGeneres, like I notice a black van go by and 2 red cars.

I have some disappeared videos of me that looked good, and now they're gone.  I suspect Ellen DeGeneres talked to someone about it.  I record myself watching her show, and I mean you can't just shit at me for it.  I'll never know if we're supposed to.  I don't know @ asking for copyright because they'll act like they don't care..  You do have to advertise what you can and cannot do that isn't perfectly clear, so you just get shit, shit.  Don't mean to call any 1 person that, too bad if someone would do that.

I was walking singing again for like an hour, probably 40 minutes at my pace, normally 45.  I got mad at what I saw and sang loudly sending out my message of hate, and I even felt I was throwing off if Ellen DeGeneres really is sneaking around me, insulting me for shit .. just sorta like it's a trap.  I know she's picky, but I mean I'm uncomfortable anyway.

I'm just worried @ if when I feel like I'm hurting someone, they'll just "do it."  Ellen DeGeneres and Helena Bonham Carter with Nell are annoying, Ellen if she does, because they think because of the stupid n word thing with Nell that they are teaching us to be strong by being weak.  I don't mind and think it's can be healthy.

She's just antsy over nothing.  She'll flip the idea and say oh well other people will do something to you.  Oh, but it doesn't matter if it's okay.

Not to be rude, but I also had lunch with my dad, then I went out for my walk in running sneakers, from Wal-Mart, just cheap 1s for girls.

Una Problema

Something serious.  My dad's here, bye.

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

Una Problema

STOP FOLLOWING ME

Una Problema

You're the mean, stuck up, nigger 1 making fun of me in my room, I am not a NIGGER YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

I SAID SHUT UP

Una Problema

Stop acting like I like being f*cked like this.

I don't have to "do it," too.

Una Problema

I do not mind Ellen DeGeneres having fun, but I will not allow her to be actually m*******, you.  Ya'll are nothin', see?  It's all @ that 1 Nell Burton.

Una Problema

See, you're just a sissy, won't stop for nothin'.  I wasn't even trying to think @ you..  LEAVE ME ALONE I felt a pain in my sides, like white gooey sticky puss, like in front.  OMG you cannot do that.  Let's see if you want a taste of your own medicine, now.  JUST SHUT UP YOU DODO whatever you are whoever the lot you are

Una Problema

Your perverted fantisies are not really others's dreams, in a positive way.

Una Problema

I'm not the same race as each parent, and my dad has an erotic desire to stimulate me.

Una Problema

What kind of a racially superior person fall for this trap?

Una Problema

Just like my cousin, you do something, and when I want to get to it, you act like it was something else innocent.

Una Problema

Why don't you just leave me alone and stop f*cking me, ..

Una Problema

Hey, stop picking on me.  I will not f*ck like a 1950 person in a bad mood.  I just got a late text from my dad saying, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."  You know, police use all caps..  I had texted him yesterday @ my mom, like I said here, and he texted back.  I was gonna text again but was busy.  I don't wanna look for this sh*t.

like the old 1- =D

link
Tumblr

WA ha ha

Someone help, I haven't seen so much of my dad lately.. oh well .. some day, right?

Why is my brother watching Zorro~

Edit

I deleted my ethnicities.

wut. 8|

But I'm enjoying myself and being nice to nice people.  You cannot, absolutely, cannot discriminate against my dad, except when he's a little nasty and course.  What will we do when we die?  Imagine someone dying too young not having fully lived "life."  That's the kind of thing I like from my dad!

What should I say for you?  I have no love in my life..  I'm stuck with a room messed up and I don't know if I can make it right.  I can, but how long will it be?  I do literally have love in my life, but in a way I am always darted from.  My mom sometimes is motherly.  I looked or felt shorter today than her.  I am not sure why I needed to bring up that fact.  I know people take from my life and say they need more attention and say it's from race.  Um, I don't mean it in a flippant way, just melancholy and sorrow.  I really don't get it.  I can't provide for people racially, but I am very concerned about things being fair.  3I

Heydey

It's a heyday about adults from the South.

What's Up

I'm just taking a little pill, today.  They cut it in half.

You know, I can be assertive if I want.  I was looking for the best way, still.  :|

Una Problema

People are so mean to me.  Like oh I am from this romantic place in the South for white people.  I would know that being from there, myself.  They do things and think they're kidding but not.  I'm not gonna be a stark, overly-stressed individual for anyone.  I am from the South and my race gets in the way.  Look for someone from Europe if you wanna see the past recreated..  aha ha ha, I mean if that's what it is to you all.

Una Problema

It's hard for me to be sorry for you if .. if .. if .. I'm so fat and hungry and uncomfortable.  It won't tick.

What I'm up To

So, plan is now to clean my room.  I'm too tired for floor workouts.  The walking is draining fat.

Who I Am, Already

Look, it's already a rule that I'm from the South but funny my mom isn't from non-South U.S.  It's just what I am.  I have happy relatives with moms from Pennsylvania, and we get along in things.  I'm being beat around by Chloe Grace Moretz and Maggie Elizabeth Jones and maybe the Fannings, all girls with fair hair from Georgia, where there's huge mountains with snow and the real woods.  No woods in Louisiana and no mountains.

(I'm unsure, exactly, no proof.. /: I coulda sworn when I was in New Orleans, I mean..xp)

WWYD

I feel I'm being made fun of.  If you meet someone racist, what would you do?  I'd leave the room.

I don't think these stuck up Southerners give a care @ me.  They do, but I'm left feeling nothing and probably m*********** or c***** from having good ole Pennsylvania blood.

You can't keep doing this because of the n word incidence.  You find out something with me that's good and then all of a sudden you've landed somewhere else, on a spot that's featured elsewhere.  I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings in how I write.  I don't have problems with my older relatives.

So

Do you think I have any comfortable, normal relationships because I was wondering why my brother being mean to a mixed person like me made him white.

Una Problema

I wonder what the point is, this time, cuz I don't feel good.  You expected Ginny to hate me.  She wouldn't come up to me and tell me not to use the bathroom.  I take voice lessons from her now and don't go.  You know, her mom is Californian.  What about me?  How am I not that interesting?  I didn't do anything to deserve to be humiliated.  Why's she teach?  I don't have anyone, and she seemed to like me.  I can take her class at another community college.  The kids in the class aren't that interesting in an attractive way.  I do agree, thinking @ it, if I don't get let back into the class what it'd be like.  I'm waiting for a note.  I'll have to see someone @ Lakeside.  What's wrong with chosing classes from a teacher you like?

Una Problema

I was just sitting in my room, all lonely, and then I heard some random, unknown clicks.

Also, sometimes I feel bad and think silly things.  Why hurt me for discomforts that came to me that should have come to someone else?

My arm hurts from "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," and I don't wanna feel stress.  No one treats me normally.  I just am open and not a robot.

Why was Ellen so mad today?  That guy came on the show, and he seemed okay but I didn't like the way he made me feel.  Everyone wants to think I'm Asian.

Also, -what about- my dad?  If something makes you uncomfortable, you step away.  I care about him, but I'm not emotionally close.  He's not like that.  He used to hug me when he got home, but he stopped maybe.  I got fat.  My mom stopped kissing me earlier.  I liked the kiss better than the hug.  It's too bad @ my brat brother.  He's the total opposite, very awkward yet conforming..  He just never will listen to me, at all.  He started going to Mom, .. xp at a young age instead of me but also to dad.  He wanted to be raised like them like me.  I also had some polishing from my grandma, quite enough perhaps.  She moved down here awhile.  She put it together for me.

What do I do that's so bad?  You can't tell me to be submissive and reclused from communicating forwardly.  I do whatever I want.  I am 26, and no one else cares.  Everyone is dangerous.  They might think I deserve to be incapacitated.  Those people kept telling me stuff that anyone knows doesn't matter and kicked me out.  I never did anything to anyone.  They were all mean to me!